To Be
by munronceny
Summary: Out of every Alice that there is or was, only one is the real, just because.


Out of all the previous Alices and future Alices, those that take the chance and go down the rabbit hole-only one can be the Right Alice. _The Alice_. The Alice with muchness.

None of these previous Alices have been lacking in charm, or pride, or coquettish behaviors learned from their elders. But all of them are lacking in muchness.

This quality of having much, you see, is extremely important in being the Right Alice.

Why?

It's important for a lot of things, you see. For one, an Alice must have at least a little muchness to be able to see Nivens; more to survive the fall down the rabbit hole; and even more to make it to where the merry mad tea party waits for their heroine. Only one besides _The Alice_ has had enough muchness to wheedle and plead to Chessur to bring her through the trees.

Where?

To the merry mad tea party that waits for their heroine, of course.

She is called Alice Lehane, and she is seventeen and from the magical, far off place of _New Jersey_. She is still around somewhere, broken and wandering through Mirana's palace. She lost her muchness. Mally smugly thinks she never had enough anyway; and what is a dormouse without its muchness?

Contrarywise, what is an Alice without its muchness? Not much of an Alice, and more of a Nonalice if anything.

Tarrant isn't quite sure of when Miss Lehane went madder than a hatter- he's still in the process of finding lost Time. But he does know that is was before Alice Kingsley took the wild tumble down the rabbit hole, outran the Bandersnatch, was led by Chessur to the merry mad tea party waiting for their heroine- except now they could stop waiting.

Mallymkun is not happy about that; she doesn't want to share Hatter.

The March Hare can't care less. Miss Muchness is one more person to hurl teacups at, those pesky bowl-shaped things that suspend the tea in mid-air.

Tarrant goes from sourly glaring at the table to obnoxiously joyful in a matter of moments, striding across the awkwardly joined tables, casting dishware aside, to inspect her. She's not in touch with her muchness, but it's there.

The potential is what marks her as The Alice.

And then it hits him. This is the same blond child that was here once before, or maybe after. But he's heard that in the Otherworld, beings don't ever age backwards, so he's forced to assume before. Before, when he was a little old man, wanting to kill Time. The blond child that charmed half of Underland, and the other half weren't worth associating with anyway.

She needs to rediscover her muchness, and she begins to when he hurls her away on the tip of his hat. Or perhaps it's as he stalks down the trail, growling bad-temperedly in a brogue.

'_Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe._

Almost like it was a magic spell, but everything knows magic spells don't restore muchness. That you've got to do alone.

The day arrives when The Alice faces off against the Jabberwocky, toe to toe with Underland's most feared creature. Her spine is steel. She has tamed Bandersnatches, befriended a Mad Hatter, defeated Time to return here, fallen down the rabbit hole, charmed the irascible Cheshire Cat, consorted with queens, shrunk, stretched, and learned that even if you're not dreaming you can live a dream.

Tarrant believes six impossible things on that day.

One, as he charges Stayne, he has seen The Alice.

Two, Irascebeth of Crims' court is entirely made up of prosthetics.

Three, he is only half-mad sometimes.

Four, the Half-Mad Hatter has a nice rhythm to it.

Five, Otherworlders can do more for his birthplace than he can.

Six?

_The Alice_, Champion of Underland, the girl with the most muchness he's ever seen, the only being to return to Underland twice, survive it as a child, Tamer of Bandersnatches, thief of Tarrant's adoration and respect, Charmer of Irascible Cheshire Cats, Slayer of Jabberwocks, Tumbler of the Rabbit Hole, The Stretcher, The Shrinker, the Bridge between Overland and Underland?

She doesn't stay.

She leaves the only place where she fits, because she has problems to solve and muchness to resolve. Tarrant can sympathize. He must redirect his own muchness, now.

She leaves Tarrant with the sulking Mally and irrational March Hare and irascible Chessur and sweet-but-unfriendly Mirana.

And also the dead body of a Jabberwocky, which he cheerfully takes off Mirana's blessed hands, skins it, and hangs the skin over the windmill, where the empy eye sockets glare balefully at the door to Overland that Alice never managed to find.

It was a mad, wonderful idea, and mad, wonderful ideas usually come to pass where Tarrant is involved. Not this time, though, and that frightens him. Makes him think that if he's mad, he's broken. Broken makes unwanted, and neither unwanted nor broken start with the letter M.

That, of course, makes them nonexistent to Tarrant.

He waits once again, sourly staring at the shattered tables, one arm slung over the head of the Jabberwocky, legs across the chair. He makes up with Time, then fights with him once more. He doesn't want to get any younger while he's waiting for His Alice to return.

Underland needs her muchness to keep the color in the flowers.

"_I'm sorry, but are you going Above? Do you think-well, perhaps- could you take this letter to Alice Kingsley in London? It's a place. The Champion lives in London and I want you to take her this letter. Please don't play stupid- you know who she is. Or hasn't she come yet? No? I believe she has. I clearly remember Frabjous Day. I did the Futterwacken. I should very much like to Futterwacken for Alice once more. Vigorously, even. If you'll just give this to her?"_


End file.
